Building homes, playing shops, outings with cousins and parties with friends, it seemed my life was just typical!
I started puberty at the average age of 10, breast development, hair growth and all! Except there was one question that needed answering! Where was my period? It had done a fantastic job of playing hide and seek with me and it had been hidden away for years!
My mum got concerned but I was as cool as a cucumber! My mum had started her period at 14, so I thought I’d follow in her footsteps and thought I’m just a late bloomer! GP visits, blood tests, ultrasound and a MRI later, the 4 letters MRKH a new companion entered my world.
Making my world just curled! I didn’t know who I was anymore! It was as if over night, I’d transformed into a new young lady, when in reality I was born this way! It was as if over night an invisible barrier sprung up, that seperated me from other ladies in my class. This barrier was none but MRKH. I felt numb, confused, lost and broken into tiny pieces. Islamically your complete as a women when you get periods, so this left me questioning my identity as a women. Where does that leave me? Where do I fit in? Am I a complete women?
I fell into a type of depression. Not your typical type! I’d go out with friends and have plenty of what looked like ‘fun’ but inside my heart was broken into tiny pieces and aching. I’d lock myself in the toilet and cry, several times a day. I didn’t want to disclose how distressed I was to my family.
Slowly but surely I started gluing my heart back together, finding myself again but it did take me 7 years on, to begin the journey of self love, acceptance and healing. To realise with a baby or not, with missing female organs or not I’m perfect, unique, complete and beautiful the way Allah has made me!
Now I’m beginning to realise my purpose is a lot deeper than I first envisoned! It’s to empower other children and women and make a massive difference to many others, Alhumdulilah (All thanks to God/Allah). I do this by working as a special needs teaching assistant and being a MRKH advocate and being the voice for my Muslim MRKH sisters, who tend to be quiet.