Kristen Oh

Eating Disorder Awareness Week February 26 – March 1

My name is Kristen, I am a board member with the Beautiful You MRKH Foundation and co-chair of their national ambassador program. I have MRKH, and I am in recovery from anorexia nervosa.

When I was at my sickest point, I thought that my preoccupations with weight and food were centered solely on my obsessive thought patterns around having a smaller body. Once I entered specialized treatment, I realized that eating disorders are much more complex than just food and body size, and that having a body with MRKH was a key factor in the onset of my disorder. There is a line in the movie Fitting In that resonated so strongly with me in relation to this: “it’s like my body was betraying me, so I betrayed it back.” I was fixing perceived flaws on the outside to drive attention away from the flaws I saw on the inside. Not surprisingly, it didn’t work. I almost died and it didn’t make me have MRKH any less.

One of the tools I learned in the treatment centers I attended was self compassion. In relation to MRKH, I learned to tell myself “I’m sad that I’ll never experience a period, and it’s okay for me to feel that sadness.” I learned to say “I’m jealous of my friend who is pregnant. That’s understandable, and I am still happy for her even while I sit in the difficult feelings it gives me” I learned to let myself be mad about having MRKH sometimes, if I needed to be mad about it. I learned to cry about it. 

MRKH isn’t the only stressor that caused my eating disorder, but learning to live with MRKH more peacefully was monumental in my recovery journey.

This week is Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Eating disorders are deadly. 

There is no body type to an eating disorder, like pop culture might have you believe. Eating disorders can affect people in ALL body sizes. And they are valid and dangerous in ALL body sizes (I cannot stress that point enough)

Eating disorders affect people of any age (I’ve been in treatment alongside individuals ranging in age from 9 to 67)

Eating disorders affect people of every race, religion, gender, and sexual orientation. They don’t discriminate. And they affect people with disorders of sexual development, like MRKH.

Treatment is available for eating disorders, and there are resources available. If you’re struggling, you deserve help. Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, ARFID, orthorexia, OSFED… everyone deserves to have freedom. There is freedom from disordered eating patterns as well, because you don’t need a diagnosis to work on your relationship with food and your body. I would suggest considering a dietitian and/or therapist that focuses on health at every size and intuitive eating – these concepts really helped shift my thinking! There is SO much conflicting information surrounding us about health, food, and fitness. Professionals are available to help us sort through the mess.

Remember: you are worthy of joy and all the good things.

Take care of yourselves 💜

Resources:

National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA)

Project Heal

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD)

24 hour eating disorder support hotline

1-888-375-7767

If cost is a barrier to care, ask the provider if there are scholarship options available. Intake staff with treatment centers can help. And in the US, most major insurance companies have coverage for dietitians regardless of any diagnosis.