The Sun is Up Now – Revealing All of Me

Archana Bharti

The Sun is Up Now – Revealing all of Me

After 10 years of hesitation, ponderation, and contemplation, finally I made up my mind to come up with my truth which I had been hiding throughout my life i.e. the uniqueness with which I have sent to this world. A ‘rare but not so rare’ medical condition that I have been suffering with – MRKH syndrome. Yes, I am an MRKH warrior and India’s first MRKH advocate.

Due to social stigma, I had the clear instruction from my family and doctors not to talk about my condition to anyone. As, I am a person with expressions, and I am open about talking or discussing anything, it was very suffocating for me to hide the things from friends and relatives. But, on the other side, I wanted to reach in that mental state, where I don’t be impacted with any kind of reactions from society – be it positive, negative or utter silence.

Finally, I reached that state where I really don’t care what others think about me. I am an introvert person who has spent her almost entire life with the family members. I always have limited friends and I am an isolated person by nature. So, literally others’ opinions were not going to impact me as I have a least interaction with people in my current scenario/atmosphere. Also, I have reached the state where I have not much hope left for my future and I have nothingmuch to lose from here. Now, I want to spend rest of my life for my purpose, for my MRKH sisters. I want to give a meaning to my life.

Now, when I have opened up and revealed about my medical condition to the world, I have made a peace with myself. Now, there is no spinning thoughts, no storm in my mind and no more tangled thoughts. 

Here, I would like to share my experience after the revelation which I recently made. I want to talk about the responses I received and how I felt.

I wrote the post (of revealing my medical condition) on Sunday and published it on Facebook on Sunday night without thinking anything about people’s reactions. That very day, I found Christina and Amy by my side. I was feeling so strong and determined which I can’t describe in words.

Just after publishing my post on Facebook, I started getting responses (private messages, comments) in Facebook, WhatsApp and messenger. 

I had usual plan of working from home from Monday like any Monday. But, unexpectedly, I received positive responses, heartfelt and warm messages. By reading those messages, my heart was melting, I had tears in my mind, and I was so overwhelmed. I had tears rolling down my cheeks now and then. I wasn’t able to control my emotions.  I took a day off because I knew I wouldn’t able to focus on my work.

I am thankful and want to express my gratitude from the bottom of my heart to my school friends, college friends and ex-colleagues, ex-boss who sent me heartfelt and encouraging messages. All of your responses gave me a strong positive feeling and a courage to stand on my own belief/my choice and gave me a confidence to move ahead holding my head high. To my pleasure, as few offered their help to fulfilling my goal. I just felt that humanity still exists.

I would like to thank my MRKH friends and sisters. Indian sisters of course gave me a silent support as they are protecting their privacy that I highly respect. And, a special mention to Christina who wrote such a beautiful post for me. I always feel that I am lucky to have such a great-hearted person as my friend and mentor who is truly a friend and loves me selflessly. And, she is and will always be closest to my heart. Amy, a true fighter and an inspiration to me, gave me proper guidance and support when I needed the most.

While talking about my MRKH sister, how can I forget Ayesha, who is such a sweet-heart and a very sweet person and with whom I always enjoy talking, sent me a lovely message and stood by me. Hasna who always kept me in her thoughts, provided me an immense support, confidence what I needed the most at the crucial moment.  

Thankfully, I did not get any negative and hurtful response. But there was utter silence among the co-workers, neighborhood, and relatives except one or two co-workers who sent me private messages. Whatever may be their reactions, I couldn’t take this in a positive way. I felt like now, I don’t exist for them or I never existed for them. 

Having said that, I didn’t keep any negative thought in my mind, because my heart was already felt with happiness and thankfulness that I received from my well-wishers, my true friends and I really felt that I have kind, empathetic and big-hearted people around me. What if they are far from my place, now I have a special place in my heart for them.

Thank You. 

Archana Bharti (Purbi)

Mumbai, India

This entry was posted in acceptance, awareness, friendship, grief, healing, hope, indian, infertility, journey, MRKH, MRKH sisterhood, MRKH supporter, MRKH Warrior, self love and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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