Jaclyn Schultz isn’t new to the spotlight (nor is Jon) or the interviews the follow. Now she is turning the tables and interviewing her fiancé and longtime MRKH supporter, Jon Misch. Jon will be presenting at MRKH Day on April 11, 2015 and as many of you already feel like you know him from watching him on SURVIVOR, we want to give you the opportunity to get to know him a little better in this Q & A with J & J!
How long were we dating before I told you I was diagnosed with MRKH ?
It was about 2 or 3 months before Jaclyn told me about her having MRKH, but I honestly felt like she prepared me a little before she said anything. She would say things like, “what if you’re not able to have kids?” and would ask my thoughts on adoption. I had already thought about what things may be like if for some reason we weren’t able to have a child, so when Jaclyn told me I had no hesitation in telling her that my feelings for her hadn’t changed and that I wanted to stay with her.
Many girls with MRKH struggle with timing when telling their significant other about their diagnosis. “When is the right time?” Do you have any suggestions?
I can’t say that I think there is a “perfect time” to bring it up, but I do think that preparing me for it helped with my feelings on the situation. Instead of having something suddenly told to me that surprised me, I was eased in to the decision. And I also never felt like Jaclyn had actually held anything from me. We hadn’t talked about having kids, and she had never said anything that lead me on, so there was nothing for me to be mad about, only the simple decision to make: was my love for Jaclyn conditional, or non-conditional. If it had been conditional, and I left Jaclyn when she told me about her MRKH, then she would have been better off, not being stuck with someone who places conditions on their relationship. But thankfully, I made the great decision to stay with Jaclyn, and I can’t wait to see what our lives have waiting for us.
What was your initial reaction after she told you? Did you talk to any of your family or friends about it? And how did they react?
I did take time to make sure and think about everything. Although I didn’t doubt the decision I made at any time, I still thought it was important to understand the decision that I had made. I talked to my mom about it, and she was very supportive of the decision I made. She said there are other options out there for having a child, and if I thought this woman was important, that this should be no reason to second guess the relationship
After diagnosis, many girls are told they will go through a grieving period. As the significant other of someone diagnosed with MRKH, did you go through that period as well?
I don’t feel like I had a grieving period. I was confident with my decision, and was sure that things would work out the way they were supposed to.
As the fiancé of someone so public with MRKH, how has it affected your relationship?
I think that most people see our relationship as something special. The general assumption may be that people are going to feel sorry for you, or something like that, but generally I believe that because it is so public, and everyone knows that Jaclyn has MRKH, people admire our relationship for living with the curve ball that’s been presented to us, and finding a way to move on, and not let it hold our lives back at all.
In terms of coping with the condition, how do you think your relationship would have been different if I did not come out with being diagnosed?
Well, if Jaclyn wouldn’t have come out with having MRKH, I don’t think she’d have had such a passion for helping others. Her MRKH reminds her, and others, that everybody has a cross to bare, and for Jaclyn I think that’s inspired her to be more outward, to show girls that they are not defined by their diagnosis. This is one of the things that I found, and still find, fascinating about her, and one of the reason I fell so much for her.
Adoption and surrogacy are options for women with MRKH, do we plan to explore these options?
YES! And we can’t wait. We’re planning on freezing an embryo after our honeymoon this year
Is having children something that you always wanted?
I’ve always wanted kids. I have 14 nieces and nephews and helped raise many of them.